As a former serial dater after divorce, the first date was always fun and light, no pressure. I never wondered was this my husband or any of the silly things that we think about as women. I simply wanted to experience the company of a nice gentleman not wondering if "he's the one!" I did that in my past because of the pressure of societal norms at that time - go to college, find a good Christian husband, have a family. Though I did it out of the order that I for mentioned, I still had the pressure of being married.
The first date is the time to shine in your authenticity. Be true to who you are and let it flow. Make sure that you smell delicious, look like you're ready for the world, and that you communicate about anything and everything EXCEPT your last relationship and how fucked up your ex was. Those are turn offs. Make sure that you're super engaged and put the damn phone away, my goodness. If you aren't enjoying the date, stay and engage because you might get a business partner or a new best friend. If he or she is weird or acting strange, exit left with no return. Energy doesn't lie. I always say "go with your gut!" If you continue the date, make sure that you are an active listener because people tend to tell you everything that you need to know. Don't only listen with your ears, but listen with your heart. Be sure to respect boundaries and enforce yours. Make sure to follow up after the date even if you are the woman. A simple HELLO, HOW ARE YOU is the perfect way to say that I'm thinking about you or to engage.
Happy First Date!
Cheron K. Griffin is a matchmaker and dating and relationship coach. Be sure to follow her on all social media platforms (@cheronkgriffin) for interesting tips and tricks regarding love, life, and dating. If you are single, join her database of singles that are hoping to meet a wonderful life partner ( https://www.cheronkgriffin.com/matchmaking-form).
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